Yard sales are a weird but edifying sort of social interaction. I have this theory that there is really only one huge yard sale. It goes on all of the time at different and varied locations and its function is to spread the same stuff around the extended neighborhood. This acts as sort of a distributed storage system for old memories and camping gear. Unfortunately, this theory runs afoul of my other observation which is along the nature of how quickly things are becoming useless in our modern society. Is this all self reflection?
Collecting:
Yard Sales don’t just happen. They are more like a haircut or a bath. The need grows over time as you accumulate things that you are attached to but don’t really need. That old Raft that your son used when he was 12 to float down the Deschuttes river. That bucket of Agates that you collected in 2013 and shined and were going to make into Jewlery/SteppingStones/WaterFeature/Artwork. Those 3 pairs of pants that you hid in the back of your closet a decade ago with the promise to ‘fit into them again’. Often it is perfectly usable things: That Sleeping bag that is really nice and only used once but was not quite right and you replaced it (twice) and is now your emergency backup to your normal backup.
Maybe it is just a requirement of available storage space. You just ordered your 6th kayak. You only have a place for storing 5. Kayaks are big fuckers. Need to unload one (on an aside here, don’t use FaceBook marketplace unless you really love communicating with all of the Nigerian Princes in the world). Perhaps you can sell it if you put it in your yard for a couple of days along with your Grandmothers China? Only one way to find out.
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| Grandmas China and Silver. Sold a couple of pieces. |
OK. So. Step one. You have stuff. But you don’t really have enough stuff. You need a lot of stuff. It needs to be large and colorful stuff to get people who are ‘Just Driving Through The Neighborhood’ and don’t want to commit to parking their Prius’. (The guys in the pickups always stop). Where to get more stuff? The truth is you really haven’t committed to this yardsale yet. Go look again. Grab that Amazon Tablet that hasn’t been charged in a year. Have your wife do a pass through your closet (oh, that is gonna sting). Really dedicate yourself to looking through that camping equipment. Oh. Oh. The Tools. Go through your tools. Did your know that your really don’t need four T4 Torc Screwdrivers? Turns out that 1 is enough. Hell, one T4 is enough for a small town. Where in the hell did you get four? Into a basket with all of those duplicate tools. Also all of the Allen Wrenches that came with every piece of furniture you have bought in the last decade. And that hammer your father gave you when your were 12. And that entire extra socket set (face it, you haven’t even admitted to yourself that you have another extra socket set in your car trunk). Have your wife go through her tools also (what? Your wife doesn’t have tools? Pick her up some at a yardsale). My wife had a bunch of tools that she had inherited from an Ex and from her Dad. She also had the ones she went out and bought herself because she wanted some good tools and not the ones her Ex didn’t want. Way to go. Now we have a LOT of tools. Oh, and Craftsman Screwdrivers!
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| Water Feature, Sold at asking price |
One last way to get more stuff. Invite Neighbors. The guy across the street lives alone. That means he has lots of stuff he has bought and then forgotten about. Really cool stuff. A drone. A large set of life jackets (he used to sail). A pipe Clamp (for threading pipe, don’t you know). Lots of Glamping supplies (chairs, heaters, carpeting). Another Boat! You can put it beside your Kayak and now you won’t feel quite so silly! Hurray for Neighbors!
Adding Neighbors does complicate the money collection process but we aren’t anywhere close to thinking about that yet, so lets move on.
Staging:
You can’t just throw your stuff out on your driveway. It needs to be sorted. It needs to be organized. It needs to be presented. It needs to be Marketed. It Needs to be…. Priced. Pricing things is hard. You want to get rid of this stuff but you don’t want to be taken. Well, at least you don’t want to be taken until 2:00 or 2:00 on Saturday. At that point you will pay people to cart this crap away. Until then, you want people to demonstrate their love for your family treasures by coughing up the doe. So. Pricing. Don’t ask yourself ‘what is this worth’. Ask yourself ‘What will someone pay me for this’. People like to come to yardsales and spend the change they have in their pockets. Some people have lots of change. But I find that things over $5 have to be actually useful. Also, the prices have to be ON the objects. This avoids arguments and makes it easy for someone who didn’t do the pricing of that particular object to cash it out when your are gone for 10 minutes making a donut run. You really want to avoid things like “You Sold My Mothers Broach For What?”
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| Shelves and Books: All sold |
I admit that I did try a little experiment on pricing for the tools. Not just tools, all of the excess hardware that my wife and I have accumulated in the last 30 years. Screws, doorstops, hinges, nuts, wrenches, thumbtacks. Oh. Just lots of little stuff. Stuff that is hard to put a sticker on. I labeled a number of trays. I had the dollar tray (where all of the Craftsman Screwdrivers went) and a 50 cent Tray (where all of the other brand screwdrivers went along with all other suspicious tools) and the 25 cent tray (where I dumped everything that was too silly to actually charge for but still seemed to have some use). I was a little worried about people arguing with me. “No, this Craftsman Screwdriver came from the 25 cent box”, But I decided that I would just trust people to keep track themselves and not worry about it and see what happened. This worked out really well. People were very nice and very honest about it and this let me round down to the nearest dollar and make people smile.
Next, you can’t just dump the stuff on the ground. People can’t see it. You need tables. Lots of Tables because you have lots of stuff. I am talking like 10 tables. This is what relatives and friends are for. Borrow some tables. If you have 10 tables yourself, you may consider selling a few at the yard sale. No, I take that back. Tables sell really well and then your stuff will be on the ground. Same with Book shelves.
One thing you may notice is that different peoples pricing will be different based on how people feel about the things that are being priced. My books are at 50 cents, my wife’s books are at $1.00. Though consistency is probably nice, I say don’t worry about it. The market will take care of the issue. Doesn’t that make you feel like a big time stock broker?
Now most of this work you have been diligently doing the week before the Yard Sale. This means that your garage is now full of tables of priced items. At least one of these tables has probably snuck into your living room. They are NOT out in your front yard. Why? Because the yard sale starts as soon as the first table is visible in your front yard. Trust me on this. Also…. It may rain.
The last bit of Prep: Advertising.
You need a bunch of signs, neon colored, with big letters clearly stating the day and time. If you don’t put a date you can reuse the signs next year, but don’t forget to collect them after or you will have people at your house next weekend. You can also run an ad in your neighborhood newsletter and perhaps craigslist and Facebook marketplace. I must warn you that craigslist and Facebook are just swarmed with scammers trying to trick you into giving them your venmo or something. Here is how the scam we have the most often goes:
Hey, I want that Expensive Kayak. I am sending my brother to pick it up. (The person shows no interest in actual inspecting the goods). I will arrange payment up front.
(if you say OK then you get something like): I have VENMO’d you the money. What is your address so my brother can pick it up.
(You check and don’t have any VENMO cash. You tell them this they reply). You must have something wrong on your side because VENMO says you have the money. If you send me the money back now, I will send it to you again.
(AH).
You skip this by noticing this thing that is seemingly shared amongst these scammers.
Them: Is This Still Available?
You: Yes
Them: What is your Location?
You: ??????
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| Expensive Kayak: Did not sell |
Your confusion is because the ad contains your approximate location. I have no idea why they ask this, perhaps just to get you talking. Anyway, I think at this point you disengage. A real scammer will probably not waste time following up on a non-responsive link.
Garage Sale Morning:
Get up Early. So you can have some quiet time and drink your coffee and work on your blog. You have really been ignoring your blog lately and your dozen of readers depend on you. This is also your last chance for some serenity today.
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| Camping Gear: All Sold |
A half hour before start time, start carrying out your tables. Put some shiny things out front to draw people in. Perhaps a box of free stuff. I used a table of self shined agates. I have lots, I sell them cheap, and I still have lots. Did I mention they are shiney? Put the great big things (like the Lazy-boy and the Kayak) out first. Why? Because the tables aren’t yet in the way.
Once this is done, have someone take a fast walk (or a short drive) and put up signs at likely places. Make sure they have arrows facing in the right direction. We put ours at each end of our block and then at a close by major intersection.
Remember, unless you have a heart of stone, your yard sale starts when you put out the first table. Why is that? Because you may be able to keep some people off your lawn, but that little old lady who can barely walk but is still walking her dog is going to wander right into your sale and start buying stuff and there is little you can do about it. I mean, she is so cute.
When you have been open for 1 hour. Take $10 of profit and send someone after donuts. I don’t know why but this evidently must be done to appease the Yard Sale Gods (Morrie and Celeste).
The Customers
I have divided my customer list into convenient easy to discuss categories. Though I will be trying to say funny things, I am not trying to poke fun at my neighbors. They are all wonderful, but the situation is rather amusing.
The Little Old Ladies:
This is really in the ‘appearances can be deceptive’ and ‘you are such a sexist’ category. Howsoever, our first customers to stroll in on both mornings were these elderly neighbor ladies who walked and talked very slowly and had lots of cash that they just had to spend. The first lady bought a nice patio table and chairs along with a tent and sleeping bag, and, oh that nice drum. She had to go home to get her check book and a few people to help her carry things. Her dog was adorable too. She just kept adding things to her stack. She finally took me aside to apologize and say that she decided that she really didn’t want the water fountain. She had thought it was a bird bath and it really wasn’t. I told her not to worry and that I was going to try and talk her out of the fountain anyway. It was really heavy and not easy to set up or use. She went away happy and now we have a new neighbor to wave at on morning walks.
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| Fridge and Chair: Yes. File Cabinet: No |
The next day essentially the same thing happened only this lady brought her car and I think she was looking for yard sales. It is possible that she was a pro (see next category) and really good at luring me in except that she didn’t ask for deals on anything. She just kept bringing things by the table and making a stack to buy. At the end, she decided that she had to have my neighbors boat and she had him deflate the pontoons and store the entire thing in her car. She also took 2 jars of my Agates because she still had $10 in her purse.
The Pros
Actually I think it is OK to poke fun at the Pros. They signed up for it. The Pros come by 10 minutes before you open. They get upset if you have let in the little old ladies but not them. They seem to have this ‘first come first serve’ attitude as opposed to my ‘it is my stuff so it is my rules’ attitude. Go figure. Anyway, the pros are buying stuff just to put into their yard sales. They know what stuff is worth and they will scoop up anything that is collectible. They also won’t but your mom’s lovely china because they have learned that everyone has a mom. But there money is good and unless they but the entire table of stuff you were counting on to suck people in, then just let them go. I will note that they were not interested in my Craftsmen Screwdrivers, not even the T4 Torc babies with the beautiful black topped handles. You can learn from them for next time. Anything they bring up to the table to buy is probably considerably underpriced.
The Workers.
We have a lot of construction workers in the area. They stopped by in their pickup trucks. They had cash and were looking for usable things. They had fun at the 50 Cent random hardware tray. They were also looking for something for their mom. How nice. They were uniformly polite and honest and also happy to get some Genuine Craftsman Screwdrivers.
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| Agates: Sold like Hotcakes |
The Neighbors
Meeting the neighbors was great fun. They would describe their house and we would know who they were. Oh, you have those nice Dahlia’s growing. You inspired us to grow Dahlias! Yes, let me tell you the story of how those Dahlias came to be…. OH, you have the puzzle exchange library box in your yard! Yes, that is my wife’s project. Etc. The Neighbors all bought something, just to be friendly. Perhaps something out of the 25 cent box. They all stuck around and talked and told neighborhood stories. Many of them had children and they all got a free Agate (cause I am like that). We had one neighbor who kept coming back around just to meet and talk to other neighbors. If I had been on the ball I would have brought out some iced tea and put out some chairs. It was very pleasant.
The Families.
I think some families go out on an afternoon in the Prius just to drive around and see interesting things at yard sales. They walk in, the kids go look at agates and toys, and the parents look at the camping gear. No one wants to buy a kayak. The kids are usually excited by the rocks for a few minutes and I get to tell them about agates and jasper. These rocks can only be found on the Willamette river in parts accessible by Kayak, you know. It is fun to give the kids a free agate that they pick out themselves (some get 2). I point Dad over to the tools bin. Lots of quality T4 Torc drivers in there, I assure him. Mom was going to look at the women's business clothes hanging on the rack but the younger child got too close to the China and a rescue was necessary. Damn, came close to selling the china there. The families didn’t usually buy anything big. Maybe a jar of rocks. Maybe that cool doctors play kit. But they were fun to see and livened the place up a bit.
The Expensive Kayak Buyers:
These people must have been at a different yard sale.
The Cash Box
You have to have a cash Box. One that locks nice. This way you can lock it so it doesn’t fall open when someone steals it and runs off. Ha Ha. Just Kidding. We had a box with $10 of Quarters and 90 bucks in Ones and Fives. We never ran out of change. In fact, we paid back the bank a couple of hours after opening on the first day. We also didn’t have anything that cost less than a quarter so we didn’t have to deal with small coins. We had people ask us to break $50’s but only when they were spending $25 or more so it really wasn’t an issue. We kept someone pretty much in physical contact with the box at all times.
A couple of people asked if they could write checks and my wife would say that was OK if they were neighbors. Many people asked if we take Venmo. I told them we probably should but we were old.
The other thing we did was record each transaction. This was because we had 3 contributors and we wrote down the sale under their name so we could fairly divide up the money at the end of the day. I guess you could use a spreadsheet for this, but we just wrote it down on paper. My wife also walked money into the house every once in a while to keep the cash level down outside.
The Aftermath
A yard sale can be a bit tiring. If you have enough people to allow long breaks, that is probably best. At 3:00 on day two, however, Neighbor and I called it quits and put everything away. Sure, someone is going to drive up just as you get that last table into the garage, but lets face it, they didn’t want you Kayak or your T4s either. At this point, I guess you can put somethings into a box labeled “Next Yard Sale” and store it in the attic, or it is time for a big trip to goodwill.
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| Tools: Mostly Sold |
Conclusions
So interesting to see what sells and what doesn’t sell. In general, I am not very good at predicting. So let me try and break it down:
Winners:
The $1 dollar Craftsmen Tools sold well. Essentially All of the screw drivers and wrenches in the $1 dollar area sold. There were a lot of them. Only 4 items were left. What were they? Why all 4 of the T4 Torc screwdrivers. ALL 4 OF THEM. There is a messages there.
The Camping Gear. Chairs, Sleeping Bags, Tents of all sizes. People like camping gear and used tents are fine with them. No one even asked to set them up and make sure all of the poles and such were there.
The Agates: I had like 12 peanut butter jars of Agates for sale for $5 each. They all sold. Many adults bought a handful at 25 Cents for 2. And every child that I saw took home at least 1 free agate. Life is good.
Books. All of the books sold. Though this may have been a blip since at the last moment one of the little old ladies said “Oh, and I will take your entire box of books”.
Losers:
Old Computers. Nobody want a 8 year old computer even if it was high end. I suspect everyone has a computer. This probably explains the Intel stock price.
File Cabinets. Had one old guy laugh at me. Ha ! He said, no one uses paper anymore. I haven’t been able to sell one of these in years. And my wife informs me that, No, I can’t store buckets of Agates in them. This idea of the excelleration of antiquation applies to other things like I was trying to sell including the computer and 10 lifetime supplies of writable CD discs.
Kayaks. I think expensive things need more individual attention. Though my neighbor did seel his pontoon boat, dammit.
Chairs. We had a number of office chairs and a very nice big LazyBoy recliner. Couldn’t give those away, though 1 chair did leave with a family at the last moment.
Profit:
We did a lot better than we thought we would clearing close to a thousand dollars (though a big chunk of that was the neighbors pontoon boat). But the real profit here is in the free space that is now in our Garage. I have an entire storage wrack with nothing in it!! What Freedom. What Luxury.
So, naturally we stopped of at a yard sale today to see what stuff was available.
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